INCREASING INTIMACY & CLOSENESS by Diane Webb
1. Show your partner you care about them at least 5 x day (even when you are angry at each other)
2. Spend no less than 10 minutes each and every day doing something with your partner (just the two of you)
3. Institute a date night no less than once per month (once per week is better if money and time allows); NO CHILDREN ALLOWED ON DATE NIGHT
4. Show manners & politeness to your partner (please, thank you, common courtesy)
5. Give unexpected and random surprises to your partner (this can be doing something special for them unexpectedly, giving them a card or flowers, buying a small token as a gift, calling them on the phone just to let them know you are thinking about them)
6. Listen to your partner (undivided attention) no less than 5 minutes per day
7. Create an “agree to disagree” list and put on it anything you’ve argued about more than once and agree to never discuss it again (agree that you will never agree)
8. Figure out ways to celebrate the differences between the two of you and make these celebrations part of your normal routine
9. Agree to make all decisions that affect your relationship together and base each of these decisions on what is best for your relationship
10. Agree not to involve a 3rd party in your relationship problems unless it’s a professional who is helping you improve your relationship
11. Agree never to talk negatively to your partner or about your partner
12. Agree to never try to change your partner
13. Agree to say what you mean and mean what you say (no dropping hints, no guilt trips, no manipulations)
14. Agree to always put your relationship first above self and others
15. Agree to eliminate anything from your home and life if it interferes with your relationship with each other (TV, computer, drugs, alcohol, possessions)
16. If apart during the day, speak with each other by phone or e-mail at least once per day
17. Agree to eliminate blame of any kind
18. Agree to eliminate mind-game-playing (trying to get your way at your partners expense)
19. Agree to never bring up the past after it’s been discussed one time
20. Agree to keep other people out of your relationship problems (unless it’s a professional counselor)
