I know how I feel by Diane Webb

I know how I feel
"It was just a joke"
I know that it hurt
"You're too sensitive"
I know what I heard
"You misunderstood"
I know what I know
"That's what I'm afraid of"
I know

Growing up in South Georgia by Diane Webb

What I loved about growing up in South Georgia By Diane Webb

Driving at a ridiculously young age
Being able to go anywhere without permission
(as long as it was on a tractor or a horse)
Spending the night on the trampoline
with Olivia Newton John playing on cassette
Laying out in the sun and listening to Wolfman Jack
Family gatherings that went way into the night
Admiring the night sky with a zillion stars
Building Pine straw forts
Exploring in the woods all day long
The sound of running feet on grandma’s porch
Raising calves
Checking the fence line
The smell of peanut hay
Getting lost in the planted pines
Swimming in ponds and mud holes
Watching a car or truck get pulled out of the mud
Churning ice cream
Picking blackberries
Guitar pickin and singin
Walking barefoot up the dirt road to grandma’s

Riding bareback at night

Invisible (by Diane Webb)

INVISIBLE
By Diane Webb

It’s a strange feeling, being invisible.

You speak and no one answers.

You ask a question and no one hears.

You wave and no one sees.

People walk by.

You make eye contact and smile.

They look right through you.

They cannot see.

They do not know you are there.

 

At first I did not understand.

I did not know.

I thought I was being ignored.

Maybe people were rude.

But being ignored is different.

So is rudeness.

People have to know you are there.

To ignore you, I mean.

Or to be rude

Maybe I offended.

But, I could not think how.

It kept happening and I was confused.

Everyone could not be ignoring me.

I could not have offended so many.

I might be invisible, I thought.

What else could it be?

It sounds crazy but just maybe.

So I tested just to be sure.

I made a comment in a group.

It’s as if I never spoke.

I directed a question to a specific person.

Silence was my answer.

I wondered if I really spoke at all.

Maybe I just thought I said something.

So I tested again, and again.

In different situations;

With different people;

Still…the same result.

I wondered, Am I really here?

Maybe I am in a dream.

I pinched myself.

No.  I am awake.

Am I invisible or something?

Is that even possible?

What else could it be?

People talk to each other.

Just not to me.

People look at each other.

Just not at me.

People smile at each other.

Just not towards me.

And so it must be true, I think.

I am invisible is seems.

So now I know.

I accept.

My feelings don’t get hurt.

It’s not their fault.

They just can’t see me.

Right?

 

 

INCREASING INTIMACY & CLOSENESS by Diane Webb

INCREASING INTIMACY & CLOSENESS by Diane Webb

1.        Show your partner you care about them at least 5 x day (even when you are angry at each other)

2.       Spend no less than 10 minutes each and every day doing something with your partner (just the two of you)

3.       Institute a date night no less than once per month (once per week is better if money and time allows); NO CHILDREN ALLOWED ON DATE NIGHT

4.       Show manners & politeness to your partner (please, thank you, common courtesy)

5.       Give unexpected and random surprises to your partner (this can be doing something special for them unexpectedly, giving them a card or flowers, buying a small token as a gift, calling them on the phone just to let them know you are thinking about them)

6.       Listen to your partner (undivided attention) no less than 5 minutes per day

7.       Create an “agree to disagree” list and put on it anything you’ve argued about more than once and agree to never discuss it again (agree that you will never agree)

8.       Figure out ways to celebrate the differences between the two of you  and make these celebrations part of your normal routine

9.       Agree to make all decisions that affect your relationship together and base each of these decisions on what is best for your relationship

10.   Agree not to involve a 3^rd party in your relationship problems unless it’s a professional who is helping you improve your relationship

11.   Agree never to talk negatively to your partner or about your partner

12.   Agree to never try to change your partner

13.   Agree to say what you mean and mean what you say (no dropping hints, no guilt trips, no manipulations)

14.   Agree to always put your relationship first above self and others

15.   Agree to eliminate anything from your home and life if it interferes with your relationship with each other (TV, computer, drugs, alcohol, possessions)

16.   If apart during the day, speak with each other by phone or e-mail at least once per day

17.   Agree to eliminate blame of any kind

18.   Agree to eliminate mind-game-playing (trying to get your way at your partners expense)

19.   Agree to never bring up the past after it’s been discussed one time

20.   Agree to keep other people out of your relationship problems (unless it’s a professional counselor)

Do Something Different (Diane Webb)

Image via Wikipedia

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT

by Diane Webb

Making simple changes in your daily life will have a positive effect on your ability to manage stress as well as help you break out of unconscious destructive patterns.  Use the following as practice then create your own way to “do something different”

1.    Put the toilet paper roll on the holder backwards.

2.    Sit at a different place at the table.

3.    Use your fork or spoon with the other hand.

4.    Watch a television program you’ve never watched before.

5.    Sleep on the other side (or other end) of the bed.

6.    Put a dish in the “wrong” cabinet.

7.    Wear a color you don’t usually wear.

8.    Comb your hair a different way.

9.    Use the wrong hand to open doors and hold things.

10.                       Say something better than “fine” when asked, “How are you?”

After doing these, begin to come up with your own.  Get in the habit of looking for ways to “do something different”.  When you get good at it with small things, you will automatically begin to see opportunities to change bigger things.  Before you know it, your whole life will be different (in a good way) and change will no longer have the power to stress you out.